lorlilorsor.comthe awesome place where kang kang talks alot alot of nonsense.

OTed till 3 a.m. today!

17.5 hours omfg.

I’m going to sleep now and waking up in 2 hours time.

Wow.

After scouring blogskins.com in search of a new skin, I gave up after realizing I didn’t like any of them.

So I started looking at the templates (I don’t even have the heart to call it a blog skin) provided by blogger and found I actually liked them better.

I am damn bland lah.

This is more me.

We actually OTed till 11.30 today!

Slept at 3 last night, woke up at 7, got to work at 9, worked till lunch at 12, back to office at 1, carried on with work till 6.30, dinner till 7, slogged again till 9.30, reached home at 10.15, drove bro to camp, came back at 11.10, bathed, settled down, in front of laptop finally.

Time to myself. 1.21 a.m.

And I’m supposed to be damn lazy!

Lucky workplace got alot of entertainment. Xm is one crazy ass who enjoys the same kind of moronic pleasure derived from making fun of people behind their backs muahahaha.

Dammit he kept spitting his food during meals cos of the friggin funny observations we made in the office.

I shall post one entry depicting all the colourful characters perhaps tomorrow haha, so interesting.

Meanwhile, Jo has already informed us that today, tomorrow and Wednesday all must OT. Wed maybe will OT till damn late.

I was discussing with XM about custom-making t-shirts with the wordings “WE ARE TEMPS” in bold and wearing them to work. He was complaining and complaining saying all the perm staff go home liao left two TEMPS work OT till 9.30 hahaha.

He says he’s never worked so hard before in his entire life before and kept scolding me for not wanting to leave without finishing up our work.

I am damn responsible lah.

This Fundamental Difference theory just happened to strike me real hard on the head as I realize how very very different two people could be in the way they view this world.

The FD is something that exists among all human beings, even siblings, best friends, spouses and probably even twins.

You could enjoy the same activities as someone, have the same viewpoints as that person, enjoy her company, and even, sometimes even play around in your head, the idea that you could probably spend the rest of your life with her as your companion.

And then the FD kicks in and arguments start to arise.

The FD is like your eyes, the spectacle that you look at the world through. And every single person has a different set of these.

Self help books like to tell you that anything is possible if you put your heart and soul into doing it.

And I think that’s bullshit. “Impossible is nothing” is a kick-ass slogan for an ad but anyone who takes it as a way of life is doomed to eternal pain. That’s why the self-help industry is doing so well.

I think there’s a limit to everyone’s capabilities and it’s really important to come to terms with that, recognize what you’re good at, and work on that. There is only a thin line between doing things with a fiery passion and doing things with blind enthusiasm.

True enough, Michael Jordan got rejected by his high school basketball team and ended up as the world’s most famous basketball player. But realize that he is the EXCEPTION rather than the rule!!

Tons and tons of NCAA ballers work their asses off in hope of NBA glory, how many of them actually make it?

If I put my heart and soul into it, I can achieve anything? How about I work ten times harder than Michael Jordan and then challenge him to one-on-one? Will I be able to taste the fruits of my hard work? To me, that’s being stupid and trying to reach for the stars with your feet on the ground.

But so some people, they think this mindset of mine is negative and I’d probably end up as a failure in life and spend the rest of my life cleaning cesspits.

From what I see, many people still prefer to embrace the mindset that you can fail and fail and fail, because you will succeed some day! So go on, my hero! Your dream is to reach the sky! So work hard on jumping! Plyometrics! Supplements! Jump whole day long! Don’t rest even when you get tired! Hard work is all you need! Oops, you broke your leg? Neh mind, “at least you tried.”

So what was that, a glorious attempt? I think that’s bullshit, but millions upon millions of people subscribe to that thinking, and that’s why Singapore Idol and their copycats do so well. People like to watch people “try hard at achieving their dreams” and most importantly, failing in the process.

Epitomy of that is probably William Hung. Yeah he’s gained worldwide recognition, but for what?

There’s no right or wrong, there’s no reason, there’s no why, no how, no nothing, when it comes to the fundamental difference.

It just exists. It’s as simple as 1 + 1 but at the same time, it’s as unfathomable and bizzare as the Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle.

Let’s take another example.

I hate “nice” guys and think they’re just one of those people playing to the girls’ weaknesses and earning their trust and liking. The only admirable thing (if you could call that admirable that is) is that they manage to pull it off.

Like I always say, there are only two kinds of guys in this world. Bad guys that look like bad guys, and bad guys that look like good guys.

Trying to look like a good guy is every loser’s sole purpose in life. To add insult to injury, most of them fail along the way.

The loser’s loser winds up being labeled very appropriately as the loser while the loser’s winner gaining the coverted title trophy at the top of the golden pedestal and wins the title of “NICE GUY” wow!

Okay that’s besides the point but that probably proved my point as well because many of you must be thinking I’m being too extremist and illogical but to ME, that’s the way things are.

Also, I don’t really give a damn about impressing people. Of course, I’d be a hypocrite if I say I don’t feel great when people appreciate me and compliment me on things I’m good at. But I don’t go out of the way and try to shove my head above the crowd.

What is the point? If you’re good, you’re good, if you suck, you suck. Why would you give a flying fuck what people think of you? Like that could reverse things? Ego-boosting?

Maybe I got that from my dad. Other wealthy people like to flaunt their wealth and talk big and stuff and end up going bankrupt. My dad spends only when necessary and people even seem to find him a miser sometimes. Ignorant people are even spreading rumours that he’s having problems financially just because he’s being fairly passive at this stage.

Who would have guessed that he’s a millionaire many many times over?

Again, that’s besides the point, but it’s very disillusioning when after you know a person for a long long time and then finally realize there’s a huge gap in between you that can never be bridged.

Okay now that I think about it, I don’t even know what I’m really trying to say.

But I guess it’s this. It’s extremely super duper chao ji wu di sibeh kam pua fucking difficult to find someone who knows you.

If you read everything up to this word, please leave me a message and I’d promptly induct you into my kangkang fan club. Nah I’m just kidding, I think you’re either crazy or damn bored. It’s all rambling and mumbo jumbo and at 2.08 a.m. I don’t even know what I’m thinking and I can vaguely guess that this is going to be the longest post I’ve ever made and will ever make so I guess this makes it a moment to remember.

And you. You who I’m sure is reading this, must find this familiar. I think this nicely sums up the entire fundamental difference theory, so I’m quoting it.

“I think I can say I truly understand how you think now.. I don’t agree with you all the time, and I don’t even understand WHY you think that way at times, but I do know how you feel.”

But that’s already extremely rare, precious.

And that’s enough.

And I used to say I can’t do any worse than the first sem.

But I did! Damn amazing.

Why is it that last time slack slack lydat also can do fairly okay, but now that I’m in uni, I can’t even slack around abit??

Dammit, why people in NUS all so smart?

Damn damn damn.

I’ve always known I don’t work hard enough, but I never expected SUCH disastrous results.

Me is so stupid.

Cos I feel damn kok wearing it.

First day I wore t-shirt jeans to work but because I went at and odd hour and left at an odd hour I didn’t feel out of place at all.

But yesterday I wore polo-t and jeans to work, and as I was getting into the lift where EVERYONE was wearing smart and neat, and I was wearing t and jeans (somemore my jeans got holes one), I wanted to dig a hole in the lift to hide but decided otherwise and tried to pretend to be the delivery boy but I realized there’s no way to pretend to be a delivery boy cos there are no special characteristics. Besides, even delivery boys don’t have holes in their jeans.

Damn malu.

Plus XM also wore formal! So today I wore office wear and I felt like a clown.

So I aliased with him, tomorrow we shall just fuck it and wear jeans, cos

WE HATE FORMAL WEAR!

She seems to be doing good.

So I’m glad.

Work is so tiring. I thought data entry is brain-dead keying all the way? How come this one must plan and manage and figure out stuff and teach people stuff one?! Somemore I was told that some time later I’d need to write a MANUAL for newer people coming in?!

Why me?! Too capable lah hai. *Shakes head*

No wonder $8 per hour. Okay lah good pay can’t complain.

Nevermind lah got eye candy sitting beside me. So ke ai, whole day eating strawberry Riccolas and got that perpetual shy smile and half-blur glaze on her face. Somemore got manager from other department come and tiao2 xi4 limpeh wah kao, never die before, one day I choot power scare die her.

Left office at six twenty and proceeded to chiong to meet xyz and the double lings for Da Vinci Code supposed to start at six twenty five, only to see that it was raining! Murphy’s law at work as always.

And anyway, I think The Da Vinci Code sucks! Maybe cos I read the book. And the book was too good.

I mean, in the book, at least saying Sophie Neveau is Jesus’s descendant sounds earth-shattering and unbelievable, but yet still has that “non-fiction” sense of discovery in your mind. But in the movie, saying that Audrey Tautou is Jesus’s descendant is laughable at best, but actually downright ridiculous lah!

And if you’re not at least somehow interested in medieval/religious history, you don’t really give a fiddler’s fart how the Knights Templar protect Mary Magdalene and the significance of the chalice and other surreal stuff.

Ran into Ivan who said he wants to watch Da Vinci Code but very sad cannot get the tix and my first reaction was to wince and say “wah lucky you, don’t watch!”

Dinner at Manhattan really confirmed my doubts that I am going to die. Okay correction, I never had doubts that I was going to die. It just made me goddamn sure that there is something wrong with me.

My appetitie is really embarrassingly small nowadays. What happened?! Cham liao. It’s not as simple as the end of puberty. I’m getting abnormal. And I get giddy out of the blue at times. Cham liao. Wonder if it’s my chronic lack of sleep or irregular meals which always consist of rubbish food. Or lack of exercise? Cham liao.

How come bu4 zhi1 bu4 jue2 de, this post became so long?!

I thought…

I thought I have broken the cursed seal…

I thought after winning once, I won’t be so suei anymore…

But…

But…….

Today… I lost another $20!!!

Okay, $19.10 to be exact.

And I thought I’d be saving money by not splurging outside.

Damn.