lorlilorsor.comthe awesome place where kang kang talks alot alot of nonsense.

My sis came into my room excitedly saying she’s bought an oh-so-cute alarm clock.

I was like,” OMFG, is it the very kpkb type?!”

She say no lah, very cute one! It was frickin pink.

She: Guess what’s on the clock face?

Me: La bi xiao xin? Snoopy? Garfield?

She: Hello Kitty!!

Me: … *Not impressed*

She: See, got lights one, and got snooze! *Proceeds to demonstrate all the functions like a salesperson.*

Then comes the scary part. She sets off the alarm.

SIBEH NOISY LAH!!!

Die, next time I think every morning I will get awakened by her like 1 hour before my time to rise.

She: Guess how much?!

Me: 5 bucks?

She: *Face black black* Wah lau, now I give people that I am very cheapskate is it?

Me: Err.. You’re not meh? So how much?

She: *Merrily skips out of the room*
Kekeke, nine bucks!

I was on 151 today and passing by Ngee Ann Poly and it happened to be peak hour so the whole bus was damn crowded.

There was this little couple in front of me. Both quite good-looking , the guy was quite tall, the girl was quite petite.

That was when I overheard the guy whispering to the girl “Eh, 你 看 ， 有 人 比 你 矮 leh, 高 兴 吗??”

I was like WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Not because what he said was mean.

But because I have said the exact same thing to my ex-someone before!!!

And I think they were the EXACT SAME WORDS. I was sibeh stunned and wanted to tell him that sentence is COPYRIGHTED.

Had Critical Thinking and Writing paper today.

Wah lau, I think I haven’t written a long serious paper in far too long. I was so not used to writing proper English Language and kept having the urge to think in terms of “wah lau eh”s and “wtf”s.

Anyway, I am so excited that exams are gonna be over soon! Muahahahaha.

But I think this semester was really quite screwed ah. I just hope I pass everything. Pass can liao. Amitabha. Next sem I shall work harder.

Lots of people around me have been screaming “stress stress stress”, but for kang kang it’s purely “sian sian sian”. I think my stress tissues have all died man, how come lydat? I don’t feel stressed at all. And I don’t think it’s a very good thing.

I’m happy lah, budden if I forever like this happy-go-lucky, then how?!

I can’t stop feeling damn happy when I think of the fact that the exams are finishing soon!!! Did I mention the fact that exams are gonna be over soon? Oh I did.

I already know what I’m gonna do for the next few days after exams.

Thursday: After LAST Math paper, I shall try and get my phone repaired, and recce for a new phone! Then in the evening, I’m meeting bun and gang, probably going to his place raiding his place of tons of comics! Death Note and Bleach! He’s also agreed to lend me his PS2!

Friday: I’d probably spend the whole day at home playing FF10 and reading comics! I’d be a couch potato for a day! No life? THIS IS LIFE!!

Saturday: Bball with world’s saddest team in the morning!! It’s been ages since we last played man. Going to Aylwin’s bday party afterwards~

Sunday: Beach vball in the morning? Not confirmed yet man, the rest of the guys haven’t finished exams yet. AWWWW….. MUAHAHAHAH!! Meeting up with the primary school people and going for Jeanie’s bday party! Why everyone seems to be having bday parties recently?? Woohoo, haven’t seen Jeanie in decades. LITERALLY. Close to ten years!

The next few days would probably be spent playing FF10 and reading Death Note and Bleach and Sand Man and Harry Potter and Slam Dunk and re-playing FF7 and re-living WARCRAFT with Shoon baby again and playing tons and tons of bball and resuming Sentosa vball sessions and watching Godfather and Gundam Seed and having big feasts with da biao mei and xiao biao mei and chionging with primary school friends and night cycling with chekki and gang and gay bash woohooooo!!!!!!

I can’t take it anymore.

On a more serious note, will make use of the sibeh jian lobangs that I have to make some extra cash, and go learn some stuff from papa about his business and GETTING MY NEW PHONE and buying a new comfy comfy chair for myself and maybe a new wallet and tidying up my room strewn with notes and textbooks for now and getting rid of old magazines and comics and upgrading computer skills like Flash and Photoshop and DWMX~~~

I can’t focus on studies anymore.

Frickin exams. If not for exams I’d definitely go watch. Had a emotional struggle yesterday on whether I should go and watch. The epic battle between the brain and the heart.

Oh well, the brain won.

Dang. This is probably the only time WCG will be held in Singapore.

WHY MUST IT BE HELD IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMS.

*ROARS*

Lucky humchimpeng got to go and watch. He says it’s damn exciting. And he took pictures with Tod!!! I mean, THE Tod!!!

Okay I doubt anyone reading this will understand what I’m talking about. I so want to see Grubby in real life. I’ve seen tons of his replays and I so want to see him in person.

Grubby~~

One of the most, if not most, gosu orc player on Earth!

But when I asked humchimpeng if he took pictures with Grubby he said “FUCK THAT GRUBBY! Sibeh dao! Refused to take picture with me!”

Then I thought hmm maybe Grubby felt the “human” aura around him so he refused. Maybe if “orcish” kang kang asked him he might! But then again, maybe not.

Our very own Flyshow was very unlucky and had Deadman as his opponent. But then again… DEADMAN!!! THE DEADMAN!!!

Deadman aka APM70.

Flyshow should have felt damn honoured.

WORLD CHAMPION

Winner’s from China. I realized not many koreans were here. Maybe too busy with their own leagues.

Okay lah I guess nobody knows what I’m talking about.

WHY DOESN’T ANYONE PLAY WARCRAFT ANY MORE.

I just recieved this email in my inbox.

“Dear Yahoo Member,

We have temporarily suspended your email account kanger84@yahoo.com.

This might be due to either of the following reasons:

1. A recent change in your personal information (i.e. change of address).
2. Submiting invalid information during the initial sign up process.
3. An innability to accurately verify your selected option of subscription due to an internal error within our processors.
See the details to reactivate your Yahoo account.

Sincerely,The Yahoo Support Team “

Hahahaha, yeah you guessed it, the address at which I got this mail is kanger84@yahoo.com. What “temporarily suspended”?!

And the “details” was attached in a file. KNN, cannot just say meh, must attach in file?!

And the file name was “important_details.zip”. Not only is it a sibeh lame name for a file name, it is in a friggin ZIP FILE!!

Whoa. So not only am I supposed to believe that they must gimmi their instructions in a separate file, I am also required to believe that the instructions are so MASSIVE that they have to zip it up?!

Aye, I feel like replying the email and laughing at them.

Well anywayz, just a friendly warning from uncle kang kang, these kind of shit is very rampant on the internet one, so must be careful okay? When in doubt, don’t open!

Also, some emails wreck havoc to your computer even if you don’t download their attachments. You read the email only then cham liao.

So make sure you have antivirus programs and spyware programs installed, and scan at least once a week.

Watch out for the next issue of “Safety on the Net” from your friendly online neighbour uncle kang!

These few days have been abit suei.

Firstly, someone got angry with me for..er.. smoking!! And I mean really angry. That got me really really scared -_-;;

没 想 到 lim peh 一 世 英 明 。 。

居 然 沦 落 到 。 。 。

抽 烟 都 会 给 人 家 骂!!!

实 在 是 太 失 败 了 ， 唉 。 。

Don’t dare to liao lah.. *Pulls ears*

And the day before, I was driving with the whole family in the car on expressway. All of a sudden this taxi in front of me sudden e-brake!!! Super E loh!!! He somemore turn on hazard light when he E.

Wah lau eh!! Sibeh luan lai loh.. My whole family was like screaming! Heart attack sia. Like turn on hazard light at that point of time got use lydat. Dunno wtf happened lah. Luckily nothing happened and there was no car behind me sia.

We were on first lane, mind you. Went from 90 to 0 in like 1.5 seconds. Lucky my reaction fast enough. Else I might not be sitting here typing now.

To add salt to the wound, after watching the vampire show on Sunday, I dropped my phone on the floor!! And out of the many many times I have dropped phones, this is the first time it got damaged!

I remember I dropped my 3210 down a flight of stairs before and it broke into a million pieces but when I fixed it back it worked perfectly. Sigh.

But I mentioned a few days ago I wanna buy new phone. Maybe this is a sign from the almighty above.

So I ended up using my mum’s phone, which is not able to contain all my SMSes. So my very kind sister offered to lend me hers. Okay she didn’t offer to, I snatched it from her.

But the problem is, her phone is so damn small!!

I have to use my finger NAILS to sms loh.

With pain in my heart and tears in my eyes, I went to brush my teeth after the death of my phone in preparation for a good night’s rest.

Alas, guess what happened.

Manifestation of my anguish.
RAHHHHH!!!!

I’ve never heard anyone brush teeth until toothbrush break one. Somemore when it broke I hit my nose with it.

Sayang me.

Had a primary school outing yesterday. Quite cool ah, everyone is like so big now. But the girls seem to have shrunk damn alot.

Ah bun, Ie Liang, Anneson, Kang kang, Yonglin

ESPECIALLY DIANA.

Last time she was the tallest person in our class. I remember last time she treat everyone like chao ah lian, but treat me quite nice one. NOW then I know why she treats me nicer. Cos she loves the maggi mee that my mum always cooks. Sibeh bo liao right. Cos my mum always adds fishballs and hotdogs and veggie into the maggie mee. Then she finds it very sumptuous. Kids are so easy to please.

Anyway, last time she like my lao da lydat, sibeh tall one.

Nine years ago.

Nine years later.

So you can imagine how different it felt to stand next to her.

Yonglin brought along his autograph book from last time. Wah lau eh, they were dated like, in 1995 loh. Ten years antique liao.

What Diana wrote for him was the most funny piece of shit I’ve read in a long long long long time.

“You are quite ok but sometimes you talk without think. Sometimes people don’t like the way you say. Like for example me. You know I very 小 气 . You still joke with me. I think you want to die! Anyway, hope you by your exams.”

Wah lau eh, what kind of fuck english is this?! And the “I think you want to die.”

OMFG. When I saw that part I really laugh laugh laugh until I thought I was going to die on the spot.

I think if Shakespeare was alive, he will salute her loh. This kind of language is sibeh uber power man. I think she should go and start a magazine or something. Some real kick-ass LIAN he zao bao. By ah lian, for ah lians.

Anneson and Yong Lin drove yesterday. I’m still not used to seeing them drive man. Like, aren’t they supposed to be primary school kids?!

Ie Liang rode a bike. When we were leaving the place and at a red light he came to stop beside the car we were on and banged on the door damn hard.

Nabeh! I thought got robber!

Susan is still as crappy as ever. Sat between me and Diana on the car, then all of a sudden started saying shit stuff like she feels very extra and was spoiling our maggie mee romance. Preventing us from 调 情 ing. Wah lau eh, she made it sound like damn 淫 荡 。

Kept sprouting nonsense about how I was so nervous that Diana was coming. And thoroughly enjoying making up her 色 情 故 事 .

Laugh and laugh and laugh. So 三 八 !

They were talking about smoking. “Ah bengs smoke.” “Where got, smoking is not an accurate reflection of a person’s character wad.” “Yeah lah, but the general conception is that people who smoke tend to be more ah beng.” “Anneson you got smoke?”

“No lah, no way! JC nobody smoke one. JC kids are very guai one.”

*All turns to look at kang kang with cigarette in his hands*

Me: What lah!

Hmm wow, so many entries already.

Met up with bun last night. My primary school and secondary school classmate. We were talking about the hilarious things we were made to do when we were kids and didn’t have the right to protest to anything.

Do you remember something called “Road Safety Day”? It’s when we had to go to some stupid place at ECP. Got pedestrians, drivers and motor cyclists one.

Good natured bun was originally a pedestrian one. Then got one friend originally kena cyclist, but he can’t cycle! So uncle policeman asked ah bun if he will swap positions with him. Good natured ah bun naturally (no pun intended) agreed.

The problem is AH BUN CAN’T CYCLE ALSO!

我 永 远 会 记 得 那 一 天 ， 因 为 那 天 我 一 直 跌 倒 ， 一 直 跌 倒 ， 一 直 跌 倒 .

Made me laugh until I want to die.

I still remember that day cyclists and motorists very jialat one, very easy tio summon. Tmd I think got SPEEDING somemore one. Damn senseless.

Pedestrians sibeh slack, but sometimes must be careful nia. Wah lau eh, I remember at zebra crossing must wait for the vehicles to COMPLETELY stop, then RAISE ONE HAND, then cross one. And the most absurd thing? CANNOT RUN! Will tio summon!

Nabeh, now if people cross the road like that when I drive I think I will horn their asses off hahahahah!

Last time primary school we were also damn siao-on this chinese RPG called 金 庸 群 侠 传 。 Hahah that game, because I wanted to know how to complete the game, I actually went to borrow alot of chinese books by Mr Kam Yong to read!

Then since the time I started playing that game until secondary school that time, every year my chinese grades like almost always top the class! So which-ever shit-head says games make you fail exams?!

Anyway the game was damn kick-ass-hardcore lah. 10 years already, no other chinese game can come close to it!

Alot of parts sibeh funny, I remember last time we always park our boat somewhere then go and complete quests and then when we want to find the boat again, always cannot find!! Then tmd, must walk along the entire coast until we find it.

He always likes to train his 野 球 拳 until level ten, then plus左 右 互 博 术 can kill 东 方 不 败 in one turn, but I always lazy to train, then fight东 方 不 败 must eat alot of medicine, then nabeh, every whack him until want to die liao he (she?!) will eat medicine also to heal life, piss me off.

I remember I always faster go and hire the easy-to-hire characters. Like treat 令 狐 冲 lim jiu he join u liao. If want张 无 忌 to join must give him金 毛 狮 王 ‘s hair?! Wah biang eh, I think the producers also sibeh 搞 笑 。

Then to train level, must go and fight 金 花 婆 婆 and周 伯 通 alot alot of times to gain level.

Last time we really sibeh hardcore the game. Got one map of the game world, we keep passing among each other until sibeh tattered and torn. Then everytime we got progress we will call each other! So exciting. I remember when we completed the game we sibeh happy hahahah!

Last time no worries one, so happy

After much tinkering with my last entry and still ending up with words of different sizes that I can’t control, I decided to leave it as it is.

At least all the pictures are there now. Last night they weren’t!

I therefore conclude that blogspot is actually not just a spot but a living, feeling creature that actually gets jealous and prevents pictures of beautiful women from being uploaded onto it.

Oh, and IT must be female.

Not Dawn Yang again?!

Yes it is ah, sorry. I wanted to blog about this yesterday but was lazy. And today, EVERYONE seems to be talking about her already!

OH MY GOD.

I know I sound damn air head here, but really. How much cuter can a human being get?!

Drop dead gorgeous. Using the word ‘chio’ to decribe her is an insult to her.

Oh okay, plastic surgery. I know I know. I have friends who were her classmates and I’ve seen her pictures before the surgery too. But I’m not gonna post her ‘before’ pics here, if you wanna see, go elsewhere to find, sure got alot one, I’m sure.

The inherent evil nature of human beings!

Of course not pretty lah, else what, too much money to spend?

But hey, so what! So many people are still ugly after surgery wad. At least hers is successful. And y’know what, I’m here ranting and ooh-ing and ah-ing simply for the fact that from what I see right now, she’s damn hot!

Yeah yeah, call me superficial and shallow, but hey, you’re gonna marry her is it? Want to check out her family background somemore?

I don’t know why some people must be so evil and post her ‘before’ pictures all over. Maybe proud of the fact that they personally know such a talked-about figure? But well I guess it’s inevitable, since she’s famous in a world full of people who like to get people down.

But sigh, why must she lie about it?? It’s like, tons of people know her wad! This kind of thing, lie got what use, people will know sooner or later wad.

See, now people are going to call you a LIAR!

But anyhow, so she’s undergone plastic surgery. So? Are you perfect?

Who is?

Someday there’s gonne be this new rising star, beautiful as a fairy, holds 2 Masters degrees, 1.75m tall, wonderful character, sings like an angel, talks like a princess.

And what are people going to say?

‘Eh, but she farts.’

Let me take pictures of you with my eyes, so that I can process them with my heart and bear them within my soul for eternity.

So no point trying to please everyone man. There are always people who’re out to get other people’s asses.

I’m amazed by the sheer number of hate sites about basketball God Michael Jordan, who happens to be number 1 to me.

Sour grapes, sweet banana, bitter papaya.

Oh well, who cares!