lorlilorsor.comthe awesome place where kang kang talks alot alot of nonsense.

Your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and youanswer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes andyou're barefoot.

A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens thegarage door nearest your car.

You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don'thave to go along.

When it takes all night to do what you used to do all night.

When it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of bythe police.

"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fibertoday.

"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

An "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

Statistics show that at the age of seventy five, there are fivewomen to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to getthose odds?

Finally took a picture with my 初 恋 情 人 after NINE YEARS! Budden sheesh lah, my hair so messy and suei suei that day sunburnt.

Keke so funny lah last time, I very ke lian, I liked her but she didn’t like me!!!

There was one time she said some malay guy in our class very shuai, and I was so upset loh. Aiyah that time small lah.

And I still remember last time she register number 13, got one time exams she site beside me, I was so happy!!

I even remember what bag she used to carry, maroon colour one.

AHAHAHAH.

Cagney(Kimage model!), Jeannie(birthday girl!), Gina (din know she’s in NUS too!), Si Qi ( 初 恋 情 人 !)

Now ALL the girls are attached, and ALL the guys are single. Except Anneson! And Cagney’s getting married! How come lydat?!

It’s been almost a decade.

Out of 10 times I play bball, I wear contacts 9.5 times.

Out of the 0.5 times I actually wear my specs and play, disaster has to strike.

Why lydat?

Wow, do you know you can borrow 8 books per account from the library now? They’re doing this to encourage people to read more during the holidays.

I have made such full use of this that I think I’m abusing the system.

THREE LIBRARY CARDS.

EIGHT BOOKS PER CARD.

I nearly maxed out all 3 cards.

Geek stuff!

Chinese novels!

Trading!

Finance!

And other cool shit stuff.

I haven’t even got Bleach and Death Note from ah bun. I’ve still got Sandman to finish!!

I think I’m gonna break my own record for reading the most books in one month. I’ve finished reading like 3 books liao. And it’s only been 4 days since the end of exams. And 2 days I wasn’t even at home most of the time. And when I’m home I’m either warcrafting or ps2ing.

Woohoo.

You never know how to appreciate holidays until you’ve just had one hell of a time preparing for exams and KNOWING that you’re gonna flunk.

It’s pure torture!

Oh well. I hope everyone flunks too so that if lady luck looks my side I could end up being closer to the correct side of the bell-curve.

I hope.

I’ve had enough. Aylwin’s cousin thinks I look like ADRIAN PANG TOO!!

I look like Adrian Pang meh?!

When my sis’s bf said that, I thought, hmm, weird.

Then Valerie commented on the same thing too.

And now Aylwin’s cousin! She was like “eh.. u look like this guy.. what’s his name ah… er..”

Me: *Pissed off expression* Adrian Pang is it.

She: *Breaks into unbreakable bouts of laughter with his sister* Ya ya ya ya!!!!!!!

Me: *Not amused* Sheesh. I think he quite ugly leh.

They: *laugh even more happily*

I really look like him meh?? Weird. I don’t understand. And they go so far as to say I look DAMN like him. Really meh? In what way?? I dun geddit.

Oh yeah, happy belated birthday to you again Aylwin!

And thanks for inviting only three of us SI guys and making us sit alone one corner like maids and bbqing food for you and bbqing ourselves in the process.

Too bad we didn’t have the chance to personally push you into the pool cos we were scared we’d fall in as well.

Hope you enjoyed the mango juice or whatever it is I poured onto your head you deserved it!!

Geez, and I believe I will never forget what your dearest cousin said to me when we left.

“Goodbye Yummy King!”

……………

My new phone, the Motorola V3!

They all say motorola phones suck and are damn use-unfriendly and website reviews also say no good leh, but after one day of using it, I think okay wad, quite friendly to me wad, I like it!

And as compared to the size of my sis’s phone,

I think this one suits me more.

Xyz say until I like Godzilla like that, because of how small my sis’s phone looked when placed on my hand. And bm thinks V3 is a lady’s phone. But I don’t know of any girls holding it leh, only guys.

And to be honest, I feel quite scared holding it, cos the phones I’ve owned have always looked kind of like bricks and you can throw them around and they won’t be spoilt one.

But V3 is uber slim and fragile-looking!!

I damn scared I will crush it in my pocket or something someday.

Okay, kang kang admits he is no gentle person, but he is also not Godzilla definitely.

Guess what, I wanna give my phone a name! Elyn did that for her D500. She gave him some japanese name ah, I’m lazy to type out the chinese version but it’s pronounced hei1(black) ze2 yi4(determination). In English it’s dunno what Takeshiro something something.

I think her phone sounds like some celebrity. But I think quite cool ah.

I don’t know what to call my phone man. Bm thinks this idea is crazy. But I like. Cos I’m crazy ahah.

For the time being, I shall call it BLACK WIDOW!

Why? Er, cos it’s black (obviously) and er.. widow cos it ain’t married?

Darksoul, who is now in China, was telling me that he was in a shopping mall one day and at a sports apparels shop looking at stuff.

He was glancing through the sections when he saw Reebok, Puma, Nike, then… Kang Wei?!?!?

He said “I was so happy sia, cos it’s u!!”

I was like, whoa, how cool is that!

Anyway I did a google search that day and found that there were actually quite a few companies with me name. Got one pharmaceutical company also.

Darksoul said that he’s gonna buy a KANG WEI cap for me when he comes back.

“Got the brand name written on it one!”

But I scared I don’t dare to wear.

NUS is a much more organized place than army, in my opinion.

I felt it most during the day we had statics paper. We were supposed the answers to the four questions in four separate answer booklets.

At the end of the paper, when the invigilators were collecting the booklets, the prof said “Please hand in your 4 booklets tied together. If you have answered all your answers in one question booklet, PLEASE let the TA collecting know. Thank you.”

How nice is that?

If this were to happen in the army, definitely the first thing you’ll hear is “YOU FUCKING CHEE BYE!!! CANNOT UNDERSTAND SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS IS IT!! YOU DOWN 20 FIRST!!!!”

Army people like to lose their tempers for the smallest things. Sometimes we think that they are damn arrogant and think they are damn li hai but sometimes I tend to think that they are pretty pitiful actually. Especially the regulars -_-;;

Maybe it’s just a way for them to vent their fustration.

I was at NTUC again just now when I suddenly felt quit unclish. Like, why am I always going to NTUC??

Normally I go there only to buy tidbits and milk and stuff though. Once in a while Ill help my mum buy the auntiesh stuff like err.. Eggs and bread and kaya. Today I went to help her buy bee hoon (mee fen) and dong fen. Felt quite unclish leh.

That time bm laugh and laugh when she found out I got NTUC link card. Wah lau eh, budden I got is because I got NTUC insurance can?! They give free one! Not because I am unclish.

How can kang kang be unclish?!?

Me is sibeh hip and stylo milo okay. Unclish no no.

And I will NOT, I repeat, I will NOT be a house husband, a SNAG, IF I even get married in the first place.

My wife, if she makes the unwise decision of marrying me, shall toil and suffer and do housework everyday and if she makes me angry I will scold her!!

Muahahahah~~~

But they’ve been very very bad. This is the worst exam I had in my entire life so far. Oh well, it’s NUS afterall.

But hey, it’s OVER.

No matter what I say now I’m gonna do very very badly for this exam.

Aye shit.

Fuck it for now.

I’m gonna enjoy myself first. Woohoo!